This has to be the weirdest thing I’ve ever done. I’m waiting, cleaning the bathroom, listening to one of my best friends trying to seduce my boyfriend. And why? Well, I’m not sure.

It all started in London. Chandler and I slept together, and when we came back, we carried on with our secret affair. We found ourselves falling in love, a better love than we have ever experienced with anyone else. I haven’t told him I love him, not yet, anyway.

But then Joey found out, and according to Joey, Phoebe and Rachel also know about ‘us’. And they’re tricking us. Phoebe is pretending that she loves Chandler, and she’s trying to seduce him until he cracks. And Chandler’s doing the same. And of course he’ll win, because he’s on my team.

I edge closer to the door. And then I jump back because Chandler just opened it. He babbles on about lotion, saying Phoebe wants to take off her clothes and have lotion rubbed on her, and then asks me if I’ve cleaned the bathroom. Well I had to. It was such a mess. He leaves, just as quickly as he came in. He puts on some music, and I hear Phoebe talking about her bra, and Chandler telling her, nervously, that it’s very nice. He sounds so nervous that I know he’s going to mess it up. But maybe he isn’t. He seems to be getting into his stride a little. Oh, this is no good; I can hardly hear anything.

I open the door a little bit, and hear them talking about a first kiss. From where I am, they seem to be enjoying it a bit too much. Oh God! What if Phoebe doesn’t back down? What if they end up sleeping together? Why did I tell Chandler to go through with this? Was I mad? Because I can’t lose him, he’s so wonderful. If I lose him, I’ll lose the best friend and lover I’ve ever had. When he holds me, I feel complete. And I don’t want him to leave me.

But he won’t. Not the Chandler I love. He won’t sleep with Phoebe. If she doesn’t back down, he will. And if he does, this time I won’t be angry that I didn’t win. Not this time, but I’m not going to make a habit of it.

They’re leaning closer – their lips are touching, they’re looking tense. And Chandler’s pushing her away! He says he can’t do it because – because, oh, because he’s in love with me! I burst out of the bathroom and run to him.

"I love you, Monica," he whispers. And I know he means it this time, it isn’t just something he was tricked into saying. The way he says it – so softly and lovingly. I just know he means it.

"I love you too, Chandler," is the only thing I can say. And I mean it too. I’ve never meant anything more in my whole life. I just told the man of my dreams that I love him. And I know that he feels the same way.